7. Be flexible

It’s easy to get caught up in Christmas traditions and how things have always been done in the family, but your festive season might begin to look different as dementia progresses. It's always worth having a plan B, and be prepared to change your plans if a particular element isn't working. 

Dementia Support Forum member wildasba said:

'My mum loved Christmas with us but on Boxing Day, when we had other family and friends over (it was the same group of people every year, who she knew), she would get very stressed, sitting away from everyone else (sometimes out on the stairs).

'A couple of times she was abusive to other people and she was always clingy with me - the whole thing was overwhelming for her and she couldn't cope. This was despite asking who was coming, wanting to help with the preparations and being quite excited about it all.'

Even if they seem ok with the whole idea, don't take it personally if they behave the opposite. In fact, our mantra for coping with Mum, these last few years, is exactly that - Don't Take It Personally!

8. Plan ahead

Consider minimising situations where the person with dementia is put on the spot to remember names. Think about giving a gentle reminder each time a new person arrives, or ask that people introduce themselves. Speaking with family members in advance, especially younger children, may help avoid embarrassing moments for someone with dementia too.

If the person with dementia is living in a care home, it can be helpful to ask the home in advance what their plans are for Christmas Day - particularly if they have restrictions on visiting times or amount of people allowed at any ome time. Dementia Support Forum member Sarasa said:

'Mum's current home has a strict visiting policy so I doubt I could see her on the day even if I wanted to. I'll drop some presents off earlier in the week. My mother in law's home is more relaxed, but I doubt they'd want all four of her children, partners and various adult grandchildren turning up.

'I guess they family will decide among themselves who visits when. My mother in law too has no concept of times or seasons so won't miss a big celebration.'

This article was first published in 2018 and was most recently updated in October 2023.