There is a subtle art to getting a movie so wrong that it becomes just as entertaining and memorable for the viewer as a good film, just as marvelous and fulfilling—albeit for all the wrong reasons. Horror done right can leave you sleepless, but when executed with just that right amount of wrong, horror can be funnier than any comedy, and more entertaining than any action.
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Don't expect any of the movies here to scare you, and don't expect these films to leave you in a state of deep thought. These ostensibly scary ventures tried, and failed, to make a genuinely impressive movie. There's definitely entertainment value to be found here, though.
'Ghosts of Mars' (2001)
Set in a future when hitting on your co-workers seems to be the norm (even when on a dangerous mission to Mars) Natasha Henstridge is transporting a prisoner and soon finds that the colony has been infected with demon Martians. They revisit oddly familiar sets in an attempt to take back control from their new Martian overlords.
From reusing the same shots in an action scene to the hilariously low-fi costumes, Ghosts of Mars gets so many things wrong that it all turns hilariously right. Ice Cube also does a great job throughout most of the movie of only having one-liners as dialogue.
'Leprechaun In the Hood' (2000)
What do you do when you steal an evil leprechaun's flute while also trying to make it as a rapper? Thankfully Leprechaun In the Hood is here to answer these and other questions as Postmaster P, Butch and Stray Bullet battle him after stealing Ice-T's medallion that had trapped the sadistic and poorly made puppet.
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Have you ever wondered what the rap industry would look like through the eyes of someone who thinks rapping is something you do at Christmas? Add a cartoonish stereotype of what an Irish person sounds like, and you've got one hell of a movie. Highlights include the leprechaun smoking weed, answering every line of dialogue with a riddle, and unnecessarily inserting the clumsiest puns after every death that would embarrass even your dad at Thanksgiving.
'IT' (1990)
Technically a miniseries, IT wasn't always a box-office record-breaking, stylish adaptation of Stephen King book. Split into two parts, the first adaptation follows kids in Derry, Maine as they attempt to survive a psychopathic clown intent on eating them in the sewers. The second has the adults return to the town to bring closure to the events, and potentially destroy the creature.
After a promising start (thanks to Tim Curry's universally hailed performance as Pennywise) the second part of this series makes the entire affair a lesson in how to not end a story, and ruin whatever you had going in the first part. The clumsy acting and stilted dialogue in the second part adds to the fact that none of the characters seem to remember their lines or motivations. They will be dealing with a blood fueled attack by the monster, only to immediately go back to eating Chinese food and flirting with each other. This movie does a great job of forcing you to laugh as you throw up your hands and question what the hell is going on.
'Jason X' (2001)
Friday the 13th is back, but this time Jason Voorhees in on a spaceship systematically murdering the astronauts who have attempted to study his inability to die. Eventually Jason becomes a cyborg through Nanites, which is the least obvious mistake the crew make while transporting him, and unsurprisingly this does not end well for anyone.
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This movie is hilariously bad. None of the crew's actions seem to involve any expectations of repercussions and for the most part don't take Jason seriously, even after witnessing him murdering their friends. Jason looks like a mix between action man and a melted spoon, and the acting in this is so cheesy you'll be unable to watch some parts without giggling.
'Blade Trinity' (2004)
Superhero Blade comes back a third time to rid the world of those pesky vampires, teaming up with Ryan Reynolds and Jessica Biel as they battle against Dracula who has come back from retirement and refuses to die. With the vampires plan of creating human farms and being able to exist in the sun, it's a good thing Blade is here to craftily outwit their diabolical agenda.
Play a game when you watch this: Every time you see a poorly scripted and shamelessly obvious product placement gain a point. You'll be surprised at how quickly you enter double digits. The action scenes are so poorly cut that you can't tell what is going on, and the ostensibly snappy quips are sub-par.
'The Bye Bye Man' (2017)
The Bye Bye Man revolves around some college students unleashing a virus-like supernatural entity that haunts them to death, making the terrific decision to summon it after they learn of its existence.
What sets this movie apart from every other cliche 'college students being haunted by a ghost' is the writing and line delivery with abysmal editing that makes the whole experience perplexingly funny. The plot is at best inconsistent; half the characters have a backstory that are never mentioned again, and there are some scenes that are so completely unnecessary that the viewer literally watches someone buying plants.
'Silver Bullet' (1985)
It's a questionable idea that when a werewolf starts murdering people in your town the best person for the job is a pre-teen called Marty, but Silver Bullet makes a convincing case. Battling a lycanthropic priest, Corey Haim aims to finally end the werewolf's reign of terror.
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This movie has some gold in it, including a cheesy montage and a less-than-exciting car chase involving a steampunk motorized wheelchair. Gary Busey's character never acknowledges what has been asked of him while he rambles incoherently, and no one seems to question any of these events or wonder why Marty is making silver-coated bullets.
'Troll 2' (1990)
Troll 2 is about Goblins who take over a town called Nilbog (Goblin backwards) as an unsuspecting family on vacation tries to deal with the vegetarian creatures before they turn them into plants to feast upon.
The film is so bad it spawned a documentary called Best Worst Movie and has become a cult classic. Trolls 2 is hilariously terrible from the acting, writing, editing and above all the perplexing story. It shows some iconic "worst acting" scenes and the dialogue will leave you in tears. This is a must-watch.
'Beyond Re-Animator' (2003)
A sequel to Re-Animator, this Lovecraft-inspired horror follows Dr. Herbert West, who is in jail because the zombie he made murdered someone over milk. Intent on bringing the dead back to life and sick of experimenting on the rats he finds, he convinces the prison doctor to help him in his plans to create more zombies (who will probably be better than the one who got him locked up).
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The one-liners are incredible in this movie and will have you bent over with laughter. The subpar visual effects, combined with the fact that some of the cast are poorly dubbed over, makes Beyond Re-Animator something you'll be joking about for years to come.
'The Return of the Living Dead' (1985)
What do you do when the dead start reviving and eating everyone in sight? If you answered with "Get naked and dance to punk music in a cemetery" then this movie is for you. An accident means that zombies start taking over a town so punks, morticians and unlucky paramedics battle with some of the wildest zombie depictions in cinema history.
This movie is amazing. It cannot be overstated about how enjoyable it is to watch despite the many, many poorly executed elements and plot holes. With some of the best zombie characters and dialogue to ever grace the genre, this is absolutely a must-see for anyone who enjoys something so outlandish that it becomes iconic.
